I was chatting with a guy recently who was asking to be involved in some work I do. As we discussed what we were doing he didn’t seem to agree with my approach as he used the word ‘BUT’ in every other sentence.

I agree, but…

Yes, but…

That’s good, but…

‘But’ gets used just before you contradict or contrast the previous statement. ‘But’ completely disregards their point of view and even experience.

We need to nip ‘BUT’ in the butt, and replace it with ‘AND’

‘And’ builds, it takes the experiences and knowledge of the other person and adds to it.

‘And’, acknowledges what you are saying is cool and let me contribute more.

‘And’, says I respect you.

∴

When you start noticing how often you say ‘but’ on topics you have strong opinions on, it will blow your mind. Changing any habit is hard and resetting language habits is no exception. When you catch ‘but’ being used, correct yourself, use ‘and’ then see where it leads the conversation.

‘And’ means you will contribute more AND you might even learn something along the way.