I know it is going to be a long day when I am half-way through driving to Auckland and the alarm on my phone goes off at the predetermined to tell me it is time to get up. I arrived at the Auckland office in record time 1:06, this is in part because the road was empty and my foot was slightly heavier than normal today. A sub 60 trip is looking on the cards one day.
The persistent noise in the background changes to the next track and Bono sings “Something is about to give, I can feel it coming, I think I know what it means.” I let the words sink in a little bit, and then start thinking about a decision I made on Sunday not to speak about Authentic Community. It was a huge decision for me, because I left a number of people in the lurch, but it was the right decision.
I seem to be making heaps of decisions at the moment, all the while aware that something is about to give. Some of them are well rounded decisions with great motives, others are strange decisions with little effect and a few are decisions that are simply out of character for the man I want to be.
It is interesting that each decision I make, makes the bigger decisions easier. It is like a self-perpetuating snowball running and pitching and bowling down a hillside. Each decision increases the size of the ball, each decision increases its momentum, but with each decision the ball also becomes less controllable and has the potential for a more damage if it hits the wrong thing rather than just coming to rest at the bottom of the hill.
It is the uncontrollability and potential for harm that kept me awake after Jayden woke me in the early hours of the morning.
Anyway, I am not sure if this is a post about decision making, or a post about reasons why you shouldn’t blog with a lack of sleep. I think I will go have a doze on the couch in reception until Marc arrives.