Lead a vivid life that does good

Category: People Matter (Page 3 of 9)

How we steal peoples time

I’ve always loved the quote from Blaise Pascal who says, “I have made this longer than usual because I have not had time to make it shorter.”

Nowadays ‘this‘ can be…

handwritten penVideos,

Emails,

Reports,

Blogs,

Podcasts,

PowerPoint,

Public speaking,

And even one on one conversations.

The best of these are short and punchy. And its obvious the creator has taken the time to craft and shape a masterpiece.

When we don’t use our time to make it shorter … we just end up stealing our audiences time.

Something I constantly remind myself.

 

 

 

What being encouraged by a complete stranger taught me…

Hi Five for EncourageI was fading. The motivation to finish strongly had all but gone. My pace had already faded from run to jog, and I was on the verge of walking home.

At just the right moment I saw a middle-age Māori guy waiting for his bus. As I jogged toward him, we lift our heads to acknowledge each other, as guys do. As I continued to labour toward him something profoundly unexpected happened.

He held out his hand for a high-five.

I took it.

Smiled.

And my jogging turned back into a run.

And I ran all the way to my finish point.

And all it took was a little bit of encouragement from a complete stranger.

I pondered encouragement as I ran home.

Encouragement can be as easy as a high-five.

Encouragement can motivate people to go the distance.

Encouragement always builds courage.

So go on, right now, encourage someone! Send them a message. Or a text. Or just walk down the hall and give them a high-five.

How to determine if you are an Introvert or Extrovert

IntrovertAre you an introvert or extrovert? It’s a question many of us been asked.

If you are an introvert, we’re told, you have a tendency toward your own thoughts and space, and if you are an extrovert you supposedly like to obtain gratification from outside yourself through others.

So which are you, Introvert or Extrovert?

You are probably both.

Over the years science has discovered that Introvert/Extrovert is not one or the other, like people imply. Rather it is a scale, a bell curve in fact. Most people sit somewhere close to the middle. You may be slightly more introverted, which explains why you are shy in some settings and the life of the party in others. Or you may love being around people, and yet often need your own space.

And of course, like every bell curve there are a few people, very few, at the extreme and these people are the people we usually think of when we hear the term.

For years I felt because I was shy and enjoy my own thoughts that I was an introvert. At the same time, I love being around people and actually enjoy standing and speaking in front of large crowds of people which feels more extrovert. I often defined myself as an Introvert by nature, possibly because the first Myers-Briggs test I did, gave me an I (Introvert) instead of an E (Extrovert).

Self-labelling can be dangerous, and I or E is not an exception.

Few of us are really an I or an E as the tests describe at face value. You may be 40% Extrovert and 60% Introvert, which means you can be both. You just need to push a little harder to be an Extrovert and Introvert comes a little more naturally BUT you can be both.

And reminding yourself that you can be extroverted just as you enter a room of strangers can be incredibly liberating and rewarding.

I or E isn’t important.

What matters is growing in both.

Hero’s wanted … YOU can apply here.

Only You can be the HERO in your lifeNo-one can replace YOU in your life.

No-one else can be their father or mother.

No-one else can love your spouse or partner the way you can.

No-one else has had the struggles and successes you’ve had. That makes you the perfect person to help.

No-one else can come to the rescue quite like you.

Your whole life has led up to this moment…

Only YOU can be the HERO in YOUR story.

Will you choose to be their HERO as well?

Nip ‘But’ in the butt and replace it with…

BUT - HT amt-group.comI was chatting with a guy recently who was asking to be involved in some work I do. As we discussed what we were doing he didn’t seem to agree with my approach as he used the word ‘BUT’ in every other sentence.

I agree, but…

Yes, but…

That’s good, but…

‘But’ gets used just before you contradict or contrast the previous statement. ‘But’ completely disregards their point of view and even experience.

We need to nip ‘BUT’ in the butt, and replace it with ‘AND’

‘And’ builds, it takes the experiences and knowledge of the other person and adds to it.

‘And’, acknowledges what you are saying is cool and let me contribute more.

‘And’, says I respect you.

When you start noticing how often you say ‘but’ on topics you have strong opinions on, it will blow your mind. Changing any habit is hard and resetting language habits is no exception. When you catch ‘but’ being used, correct yourself, use ‘and’ then see where it leads the conversation.

‘And’ means you will contribute more AND you might even learn something along the way.

When you lend, should you expect nothing in return?

Books - Learning to doI have small simple systems for everything including tracking who I have loaned books to.

A couple of days ago I looked at who was on the ‘naughty list’ of people who haven’t returned my books. Some of these people have great books and they have had them for years. As I looked at the list I mused how often I never get books back, but I left the list unchanged.

This morning I read “But love your enemies, do what is good, and lend, expecting nothing in return”. I realised I should expect “nothing in return” and holding a long-term list of books actually meant each time I reviewed the list; I subconsciously put a negative mark against their name.

I culled the list.

So if you have books of mine … consider them a gift.

Expecting nothing in return is not just about books, or that $10 you lent.

Expecting nothing in return is about being generous and gracious and doing good.

And for us, expecting nothing in return means you free yourself from the mental and emotional energy needed to hold on to something so small.

What are you expecting in return from someone?

Isn’t it time you just let it go.

If you could relive this week, what would you do differently?

This one simple question could radically change your upcoming week.

If you could relive this week, what would you do differently?
Calendar
At work.

Or at home.

Mentally.

Physically.

Spiritually.

Financially.

What would you do differently?

Now note down one, or two, or three things and plan to do them in the week ahead.

I stumbled across a form of this question recently and I have added it to my GTD weekly review. It has helped me see gaps I wouldn’t have otherwise seen, and put things in place to fix next week.

So STOP right now. Today. This moment. Answer the question, decide what to do differently.

Then repeat next week.

as the winds of change blow do you lean in and fight, or harness the change and sail off on an adventure

Change is constantly upon us, and the winds of change are always blowing in our lives.

So often we lean in against the change. Fight it. And burn a heap of energy trying to get back to where we came from.

Usually, in the end, the change forces us there anyway, and we arrive there beaten and bruised and worn out.

When we fight change hard, we actually miss the opportunity to share in the adventure and journey of the new direction.

Next time change is upon you, you have a choice:

Lean in and fight,

or

go with it and head off on the adventure!

Why choosing to be gracious is so important

BurtonOnTheRiverThe enemy stood on the other side of the reception desk, or at least that’s is how the man next to us behaved as he ranted about some problem or another. We too had a problem, the room we had just checked into had not been cleaned properly. We could tell it hadn’t been cleaned as the toilet was full of, shall we say, number 2’s. In fact the toilet appeared almost blocked.

As I stood about to engage with the receptionist, with my daughter at my side, I knew I had a choice. I could choose to treat the receptionist as my enemy, as the causer of the problem.

I could rant.

And rave.

And demand.

Or …

I could be gracious.

I could smile, speak warmly, explain the problem without blame. I could be eager for a solution, but then be happy with whatever outcome, knowing in the scheme of things, it is nothing.

I choose to be gracious, and while the other guy continued to rant and alienate the other receptionist, we were shown to a new room by housekeeping.

On one of the long flights to London, I realised that I had a choice. I could choose to be your typical demanding, self focused tourist, or I could be gracious. Waiting, smiling, generous, and letting others go first.

I chose to be gracious. I made a choice long before speaking to that receptionist, which made talking to the receptionist, warm and enjoyable, for both of us.

By choosing to be gracious our world changes, and small things stay just as they are, small.

I was reminded of that the other day as I lacked grace.

Why I make Caring a task

Team Agoge 2013At Agoge one of our essential values is “be caring”. As the guy at the top I see it as a core responsibility to cast a shadow of caring across the entire organisation. One of the ways I do this is I aim to touch base with our core team in the company at least every month or so.

Often I fail, because aiming to touch base is different to actually calling. For example recently, when I rang Brendon, we pretended like we hadn’t talked in years, when in fact we hadn’t spoken in a month or so.

After Brendon’s call, I knew that I had to once again make caring a task. I changed how it appeared in my weekly review, and I plan to check in on a couple of people a week.

To some, making caring a task feels wrong. Shouldn’t caring be spontaneous and in the moment? Yes, caring should be spontaneous, and yes caring should be planned.

By making caring a task, you make sure that the people you care about, actually know you care.

That’s the case with our team. They are awesome people spread all over this country and I care deeply for them. If I don’t make caring a task, the busyness of business can allow far to much time pass before we catch up.

And because I care, that can’t be the case!

 So who do you need to make a task to care for today?

Who have you been meaning to call or visit, and left far too long?

Why not capture that task right now.

They will appreciate it.

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