Page 14 of 43

We are all horrendous and beautiful.

17 November 2012 / Andrew

As I stood motionless at the Killing Fields, what seemed like millions of tear drops landed on my umbrella. The bleak wet day only added to my somber mood as the horror of humanity played out in my mind. Men, women, boys, girls & babies slaughtered by their fellow countrymen on a scale I will never grasp.

Looking intently at a single skull I am repulsed by humanity. This skull is just one of thousands lining the shelves, that represent up to 1.4 million murder victims in Cambodia. At the height of the killing in Cambodia I was 8 years old and I heard of how boys as young as 11 were conscripted to the Khmer Rouge to become killers. Boys then, who are now men in their forties, murderers.

It is easy to stand divorced from the moment and think we would have behaved differently.

But we all have deceived others. All been deceived.

When faced with the choice of kill, or be killed, few of us really have the strength and courage to choose anything but life.

Humanity at its core is desperately dark.

We are all horrendous.

Yet…

As I traveled Cambodia every person I saw or spoke with was beautiful.

Some had bodies disfigured in ways I have never before seen, but they are beautiful.

Our Tuk Tuk drivers, beautiful.

The beggar and her child, beautiful.

Poor children playing in the water from a good well, beautiful.

Often the stories and circumstances were heart breaking, but the people …

Beautiful.

∴

Only senior officials of the Khmer Rouge will be brought to justice, which means tens of thousands of murderers now live ordinary lives in Cambodia. Is it possible I met some of these killers and thought they were beautiful? Yes, and I now understand that in the right circumstance we are all capable of the horror of the Khmer Rouge. (That doesn’t make it right.)

You are capable of these things.

You are horrendous.

Yet I just think … you are beautiful.

Lesson 4 from Cambodia visit 2012: We are all capable of horrendous things and we are all beautiful people.

One reason why education in New Zealand is fantastic!

8 November 2012 / Andrew

Imagine a 10-year-old student you have known. Now pause, and think about their schooling and what they have really learnt at the age of 10.

Consider how little they really know in mathematics and english.

Their drawing is good, but they are no designer.

They have creativity but their cognitive skills are lacking.

Now, imagine the 10-year-old finishing school for good. Then you discover they have no access to books or libraries or the internet and you realise the child’s lifetime intellectual learning is over.

Gone is the opportunity to learn more about science or maths or design or art. Gone is the opportunity to seek a University degree.

I have just described the average student in Cambodia. Most rural children have access to a basic primary education, at which point the distance and cost increase to attend high school is so great, that the children finish school and start working on the family rice fields.

If most people you knew finished school at 10, how much opportunity to develop, invent and improve would your community have?

How much opportunity would exist to improve the efficiency and productivity of your family land?

At a very basic level, how much opportunity would you have to improve water quality, sanitation and health, if your education finished at 10?

The unfortunate answer is at best, ‘very little!‘

∴

As I toured rural Cambodia recently and heard that most children finish school at the age of 10, all I could think about was my 10-year-old daughter finishing school at the end of this year. She is smart and has learnt heaps, but hasn’t yet learnt anywhere near enough for a lifetime. And if her access to books and teachers and even the internet disappeared, her future learning would be unthinkably limited.

As I thought of the implication of finishing school at 10, I realised how incredibly blessed we are to have the education and resources on offer in New Zealand.

It offers our children a lifetime of learning.

It means our children’s children will learn even more, and develop more cure’s and create more truly great things.

Education offers hope for our future!

Oh, and the one reason I think education in NZ is fantastic? Because my children continue in school until at least 16 and even then their opportunities aren’t limited. Too often we forget that.

Lesson 3 from Cambodia visit 2012: Education is pivotal for the future of communities

So the water that comes from the Well is not 100% pure?

18 October 2012 / Andrew

Mid sentence Jim exhaled an audible groan and instantly we burst into uncontrolled laughter. The groan just reflected the thoughts echoing in our heads as we bounced, banged and rocked our way along the red clay road in a remote rural area of Cambodia. Our hosts were taking us, no, bouncing us to a village where BioSand Filters where in production.

We had come to Cambodia to see the good.water wells that Good Trust had funded and our partners Samaritans Purse have installed. Once at the communities we saw the wells, turned the handles to pump water, took photos and asked questions. It was incredibly satisfying to see clean water pouring from a hand pump on a well that we had enabled. Yet after watching them pump water, they promptly poured it into these bizarre looking concrete containers that trickled forth clean drinking water.

To be honest, before seeing Bio-Sand Filters (BSFs) in action I had not appreciated the importance they played in providing clean water. I very naively thought that we put a Well in, and the water was fresh and ready to drink. It is close, and infinitely better than drinking brown dirty water directly from the rice fields, which is what they did before, however when the water is filtered through a BSF is is 99% free of the germs and ugly stuff that causes sickness.

They are awesome!

Once we arrived at the village where BSFs were being built, we saw how actively involved the community was in constructing them. SP provided the molds and materials, and the people set about building almost a 100 BSFs for each home in the area. BSFs are very low maintenance and last up to 15 years. (If you want to know more about how BSFs work click here).

And the cost of the materials to provide clean water to a household for 15 years?

$30 !

∴

Personally what struck me most as I left the communities we visited was not that they had clean water, but rather how incredibly fortunate we are.

To get clean water they hand-pump water, carry it back to their home and pour it through a BSF. I on the other hand not only shower in drinking water at the turn of a tap, but water my lawns with drinking water in the summer.

And, for the price of feeding my family of 5 takeaways on the odd occasion, I could provide a family with clean water for 15 years!

Lesson 2 from Cambodia visit 2012: Bio Sand Filters are awesome value and worth the investment.

2 tips for being more generous and compassionate.

13 October 2012 / Andrew

On a wet humid evening we sat outside on the bustling street corner, in the heart of the action, waiting to enjoy our meal. The restaurant we chose, our clothes and the colour of our skin screamed to the locals that we were wealthy foreigners to Phnom Penh, and almost immediately we were confronted with invitations to purchase or give. Girls the age of my daughters selling bags, young men selling books and a Mother with a young child simply begging. At first we engaged with them, then quickly learnt it was easier to ignore them and their need.

Later as we meandered along the streets we saw a young child (12 – 18 months) standing on the footpath. I glanced down to see her mother bent over a rubbish bag scavenging for food. As I walked past I realised it was the women who had begged from us at dinner. The woman and child I had ignored. I returned and gave her some money, she thanked me, and went back to scavenging in the rubbish.

I learnt some lessons that evening, learnings that have implications beyond the poverty encountered in Cambodia.

We must be prepared to give:
When I hit Cambodia I hadn’t formed this thinking, which meant each situation I encountered required me to make yes/no decisions. Soon the answer just becomes NO.

You can’t fix everything you see, so being prepared means having the forethought to know what you believe in giving to, and how much. And to whom.

This applies equally back home. Knowing what we will give to, helps when people knock on the door or telemarketers call. Importantly knowing what you believe in giving to, means you will give. If you’re not prepared the answer quickly becomes NO.

We must be ready to give:
If being prepared is a state of mind, then being ready is practical. For us it meant having small amounts of money available for donations. Whether running in the morning or on a Tuk Tuk, we had money to give without hesitation to make a small difference.

At home, I barely ever carry money, and therefore it is significantly harder for me to give without hesitation to make a small immediate difference.

∴

I know a lot of people like me have a heart to give, to be compassionate and yet miss opportunities. So may you prepare your hearts to know when and how you will give. And then may you be ready to give without hesitation.

May you encounter the joy of making a difference.

Lesson 1 from Cambodia visit 2012: Being prepared to give.

Creating a personal strategy to help you achieve your dream and goals.

21 September 2012 / Andrew

One of the funny things about returning from annual leave is that I often have this utopic desire to live a more purposeful life. I guess the relaxation, uninterrupted time with family and the space to think, lead me to want to create more of those spaces in my normal life.

Recently after returning from leave I realised that in our business we have strategies to move us towards our vision and these strategies help us choose the right actions.

In my personal life however, I had never put strategies in place and this needed to change.

Understanding the difference between vision and strategy and actions can be difficult so here is a personal example.

Vision is your dream or long-term goals. One of my visions is to “be a person of influence” (hopefully a positive one).
Strategy is a high level way of getting to your vision. My current strategies for increasing influence are “connecting with 4 people each week” and “writing weekly”.
Actions are the things you do each week to get that align to your strategy. My actions are appointments I have with people and time I actually spend writing.

The truth is I haven’t written each week and I haven’t met with 4 people each week. But, I have written more and connected with more people each week. I also track how I am going in my personal weekly check list which I review in my weekly review (this is the key to not forgetting it).

And even though I don’t achieve it each week, my influence is growing, and I am meeting and connecting with more people, which is energizing me and making me a better person.

Most importantly each week is deliberately better than it would be without them.

So what will your strategies be?

If you would like to see my current strategies, I have posted them at outward.me.

We are all artists

13 September 2012 / Andrew

My 10 year old checking out her art at the HeART Expo. She is a true artist.

Recently I was sitting in a group of maybe 200 people who were asked if they were artists, and only four people raised their hand.

I was one of the four ‘artists’ who put their hand up. Can I paint or sculpt or dance? No, not at all. Yet I am an artist, because at the core of art is creativity.

An artist creates.

And almost everyone I have ever met is creative in someway. Sure, some paint and sculpt and dance, but most creative people, most artists I meet do nothing like that. Most create in other ways like taking home photos or cooking their favourite food. Some create by making practical things from metal or wood. Others create by raising amazing kids. Some even create using spreadsheets.

In my heart of hearts I believe we are all artists. I believe we are all created to create. And when we create, we should pause for a moment to enjoy our creation. Our Art.

You create things, therefore…

You are an artist.

Enjoy.

Learning to do

3 August 2012 / Andrew

My daughters as a part of their reading development are both learning to infer the meaning of what the writer is saying. I guess inferring means reading between the lines to gain a better understanding.

Over the years I hope to teach them the importance of finding the implication of what the writer is saying. Not so they can search for the implication for everyone else, but so they learn to seek an implication of what they read to themselves.

Often as adults, we read to gain knowledge and readily see the implications to everyone but ourselves, but fail to make personal change.

So maybe now is the time to teach my daughters to read and infer and imply. And maybe now is the time to teach them to take action.

Then rather than having my kids learn to know.

They would learn to do.

4 tips for losing weight, quitting smoking and changing habits.

23 July 2012 / Andrew

Our conversation was casual and jovial as we talked of my friend’s attempts to quit. Like all of us he had tried and failed on more than one occasion, except he was trying to give up smoking, an addiction I have never had to break.

As we chatted through the failed attempts of the past I said to him that he had never ‘resolved’ to give up. He had never really decided. He had not truly decided that he would never smoke again, and until he did all the quit smoking aids in the world would not help him.

He asked, as I would, “OK then, how do you get resolve?”

Around the same time another friend was losing weight (36kg in 6 months to be exact). He had lost weight before, he had tried and failed on more than one occasion, only this time something was different.

This time he has resolve.

I can hear it in his words. I can see it in his eyes; there is a steely-eyed determination to make this stick.

Resolve is different to self-discipline. Resolve is a determination and self-discipline is the habits that keep you on track.

Having been asked, “How do you get resolve?” my answer at the time was simple. I don’t know. I know when I have it, but I don’t know how to make people get it.

From my experience however the progression towards resolve goes a little something like this:

1) Know the Change.
If you don’t know you need to change you wont. Knowing an addiction or habit is bad is quite different from knowing it is incredibly bad for YOU.

2) Know the Future.
Maybe this is a specific goal like a target weight; maybe it’s knowing you will be a better leader by changing a habit. In any case you need to appreciate how the future you will be. Some could call this a goal, or a dream.

3) Know the Support.
Before you get resolve, somehow you need to know you have the people, tools or support to get you through. Giving up smoking if everyone around you smokes is almost impossible. Trying to lose weight without tracking what you eat, wont happen.

However, if you know you have supportive people, smoking patches, food diaries, whatever before you start, you are far more likely to succeed.

4) Now Decide.
Now the key to resolve is deciding. At some point you need to be by yourself, know change is needed, know what you want, know you have support and then decide.

Really decide.

No one can do this for you, and I wish I could tell you how to decide, but I cant.

I do know from personal experiences to lose weight, exercise regularly for the rest of my life, make decisions quicker, reduce debt or lead better, that it takes full resolve to get through.

A half-hearted resolution is not resolve. To have resolve is to commit fully. In hindsight and somewhat strangely I can tell you exactly where I was when I made most of my big decisions.

Even the language of a resolved person is more determined. I will always do… I will never … For the rest of my life … For the next 30 days I will…

The rest is easy easier.
Once you have resolve you will still have bad days, still be lured to old patterns and often struggle with the task at hand.

Habits need to be changed after all and changing habits takes time. But once you have resolve something in your core has changed. The default is different. Your self-talk is different and you slowly but surely make it.

My friend has stopped smoking. Both friends have resolve. I didn’t give it to them. They decided for themselves and it has been life changing.

So…

I hope you shoot for your goals.

I hope you get the resolve you need to change.

I hope your life is changed.

And if I can help in any way I would love to chat.

2 June 2012 / Andrew

I wonder what important parcels or documents are on board this DHL plane? I am sure that somewhere a person waits for the arrival of a parcel, that is possibly the most important thing in their life right now.

At the conference, most of the speakers felt like they had something important to say. They have important jobs, and it was critical they get their learning across.

Important comes from the word import. To import means to ‘bring in’. We can tell what is important in our lives by the things we ‘bring in’. What we buy, how we spend our downtime, who we talk to, all indicate the things we think are important.

Lets be honest for a moment. Important focuses on ME!

Exportant is not a word but maybe it should be. It would mean to ‘give out’. Maybe our lives should be measured less by what we bring in and more measured by what we give out.

Then how we spend our money, our downtime and how we talk to people, would be focused on what we give out, rather than what we bring in.

Then we would be exportant.

And most probably what we actually do, would become genuinely important.

Learning to be decisive and the two things that stop me.

28 May 2012 / Andrew

After more than 10 years my picture of the moment is more like a bird’s eye view, than sitting in the seat of the car I was driving. From up above I remember the exact place I was parked on the motorway on-ramp, while waiting to converge with the peak hour traffic. I remember the car, the weather and my mood.

Most importantly I remember the conclusion of my self-talk.

“I will make a decision within 24 hours if I have all the information I need, or I will request more information”

It was a decision to be decisive. A resolve not to be a bottleneck. A drive to allow people to move forward with their jobs and projects, quickly and effectively.

It was a verdict against indecisiveness.

Over my years I have often seen very intelligent managers rendered almost ineffective as leaders, because they cannot make decisions.

It would be great if I could tell you I always make decisions quickly, but I falter and generally there are two reasons I’m not decisive;

I fool myself into believing I must have 99.99% certainty before making the call, which I barely ever get, so I sit on it. Over think it. And wait … and wait.
I know the decision that needs to be made, but it is hard. It involves hard conversations that people might not like. People might not like me. So I do nothing.

In both cases, my indecisiveness annoys the people I work with, and cripples the organisation I am trying to lead.

To be sure being decisive has risk. Making a decision with only 60% of the information can mean you get it wrong. It can cost money. It can make you look bad. Really bad!

But from my experience, you also make a heap more good decisions than bad. And the good decisions seem to out multiply the bad.

When I left the job I had at the time, two of my team independently told me I was the most decisive manager they ever had.

Of course being decisive applies to every area of our lives.

The implication; decide to be decisive.

People Matter ∴ Do Good

Page 14 of 43

We are all horrendous and beautiful.

One reason why education in New Zealand is fantastic!

2 tips for being more generous and compassionate.

∴

Creating a personal strategy to help you achieve your dream and goals.

We are all artists

Learning to do

4 tips for losing weight, quitting smoking and changing habits.

Learning to be decisive and the two things that stop me.

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