Saying things to wind people up.

"I don't think you have thought through this" were his words after I had told him that we didn't need to discuss an issue and that we would handle it on the day.

He said it half heartedly, but he made a good point. He needed to talk about it. When I say "we'll discuss it on the day" it winds him up.

You see according to the styles of influence, cognitive scale, a high abstract person (like myself 99%) is always thinking and generally has thought about it and doesn't need to verbalise, whereas a mid-range cognitive person (my friend) needs to verblise it to make sure they have understood it and are clear on the plan.

Me basically telling him I have a plan leave it til the day is not what he needed to hear. Him telling me I hadn't thought about it was not what I wanted to hear. If it had gone on, we would have been frustrated with each other for no real reason.

The result – we talked and his views were the same as my thoughts – both happy.

How easy it is to miss these points sometimes!