Lead a vivid life that does good

Category: New Zealand Inc (Page 1 of 2)

How to really win an argument

Win the person not the battleRecently I was chatting to a stranger who had, in my opinion, a very dated and passionate view on military conscription.

Now like you, I am very opinionated.

This means we encounter people with very different views to us. And, if we aren’t careful this can lead us to bombard them with our opinion, to persuade them, and show them where they are wrong. We want to prove our point. And in some ways be victorious in this small battle.

And in doing so…

We.

Lose.

The.

Person!

As I talked to the passionate opinionated stranger my desire was for just one thing.

To win the person, not win the battle.

So, I listened.

Asked questions.

Tried to understand their view.

And, not surprisingly, learnt something.

There are plenty of places for disagreement and this September we have some pretty big issues to vote on in the referendums.

Already the opinions are strong, and they will escalate to conversations and social media rants.

And when these opinions conflict with yours remember its more important to Win the person, not the battle.

How to get promoted!

“What did you do to get promoted?” she asked, hoping for a leadership gem.  “I got lucky” I said, knowing it wasn’t the whole answer.

I had just been sharing about the period of my life where I went from being a courier to a senior manager in New Zealand’s largest courier company over a five-year period.

To be honest ‘luck’ played its part. I joined when the company was growing exponentially and promotions created spaces. But luck alone doesn’t account for it. There were a bunch of other people who didn’t get promoted.

I believe I was promoted because I locked on to an axiom early on in my career;

Do all of my job and half of my boss’s

Doing ‘all of my job’ stopped by boss having to jump in and do it for me. [Note: If your boss is doing some of your job, fix that first. Not cool!]

Doing ‘half of my boss’s job’ meant I was learning outside my existing roles and helping my boss. When opportunity popped up, I was a logical choice.

Trying to do one and a half jobs, doesn’t mean I worked 1 1/2 times harder. It is hard work, but it also taught me to lead my teams better and focus on what was important.

“Do all of my job and half of my boss’s job,” clearly won’t work in every setting. But maybe it’s worth a try.

Nowadays being a CEO/Founder it’s a lot harder to do my boss’s job, but my focus remains largely the same. I need to ‘Do my job and half of my future job.’

If I want to the organisations I lead to have a global impact, the leader I am today is not sufficient for the future.

Great Leaders Flip-Flop!

Great Leaders Flip FlopIt’s election year. This means you will hear two phrases in the media over the next 6 months. They are the terms “flip-flop” and “U-turn”.

The media is exceptionally good at spotting a flip flop or U-turn in the opinion of a candidate. While keeping the politicians ‘honest’ is important, I get concerned when the media portray changing your mind as a bad thing!

It’s not.

Authentically changing your mind is a strength.

Which type of leader would you rather follow?
– A person who is close minded to change.
– Or a man or a woman who authentically considers the evidence, and changes their mind.

For some reason society often frowns upon those who change their minds.

Personally, I’d rather be seen as a flip-flop leader.

Are you prepared to change your mind?

More importantly if you are presented with new evidence or feedback on a belief you hold dearly, would you change your mind?

Changing your mind or beliefs or attitudes is actually far harder than it seems. Far easier to stick with the status quo.

Which is why, great leaders flip-flop!

I can’t imagine war

THANK YOU for giving more than we can imagine. I can’t imagine what it’s like to go to war.

I can’t imagine having the courage to leave my family. To say goodbye to those I love.

I can’t imagine being shipped off to some distant land to fight for people you don’t know.

I can’t imagine long periods in trenches. In jungles. On battlefields. Bored. Exhausted. Cold, wet and scared.

I can’t imagine entering the battle. To be ordered into such great danger that my life is no longer in my hands.

I can’t imagine what it’s like to start shooting. At humans. Real people. To take a life.

I can’t imagine what it’s like to see people killed. Not just people, but friends. Close friends. Killed right in front of my eyes.

I can’t imagine being shot. To feel the excruciating pain. To know I am in the middle of nowhere. In the middle of a battlefield. To fear for my life.

I can’t imagine returning home. Emotionally and physically scarred. To have the scenes, the sounds, and the bloody images locked permanently in my mind.

I can’t imagine.

I also can’t imagine our country. Our life. Our freedom. Had you not imagined our freedom for us, and then given everything.

I can’t imagine we could ever thank you enough.

THANK YOU for giving more than we can imagine.

Letting Go

If you want people to grow - you have to let go“You don’t understand,” I said partly in jest, “It has nothing to do with their fear of change. It’s ALL my own insecurities.” As soon as I heard the words leave my mouth, even though I was meaning them to bring humour, I knew they were true.

I was trying to work out what my role should be in Agoge, the social business I founded and own. Hearing these words changed everything. I realised that so much of my identity and status and self-esteem was tied to being the leader.

And allowing my insecurities to win, would eventually lead us to lose.

This week Jim Grafas, was promoted to CEO of Agoge. I couldn’t be more excited to see a person who I trust and who is an amazing friend take the role. More importantly he is a phenomenal leader who people love to work with, who deeply cares for people, and who passionately believes in Agoge’s vision of People Matter ∴ Do Good.

I will tell you something else about Jim. He doesn’t yet know everything he needs to know to be CEO, which means he will make mistakes. Which is exactly how he will grow.

If I allowed my insecurities to stop me stepping out of the way. Then I not only stop myself growing, I stop Jim, and the amazing team beneath him from growing as well.

If you want people to grow, you have to let go.

Since having the insight about my own insecurities, it’s amazing how often I have heard it in others. So many leaders and managers and even parents are holding great people back, purely because they won’t let go.

Our role is to help people grow into the best possible version of themselves.

We don’t do that by holding on.

We do it by letting go.

If you want people to grow, you have to let go.

 

———————————
Finally in case you’re interested. I haven’t retired. I’m now the MD of Agoge and still passionate and emotionally invested in its future. I’ve also teamed up with Vivek to co-found a new social business, that aims to have the same ethos and purpose that Agoge does, but solve a different problem.

Why NZ needs a Ministry of Men’s Affairs

Ministry of Mens Affairs source 3newsA friend of mine was sitting next to the Minister of Women’s Affairs on the plane recently and I asked him if he had asked her, if “women have many affairs?” Ok, that’s a poor shot at humour.

The Hon. Jo Goodhew has an incredibly important role and I love that we are the first country in the world to give women the vote, the first country in the world where women have held the 3 most senior offices (Prime Minister, Governor General and Chief Justice). The Ministry of Women’s Affairs has been and will continue to play an incredibly important role.

This got me thinking though… Is there a need for a Minister of Men’s Affairs?

We spend a huge amount of resources protecting and supporting the disadvantaged, and maybe we need to focus on addressing a core issue …

Men!

What if the Ministry of Men’s Affairs had one goal “to develop better men

Less addictive
Less abusive
Less prejudiced
Less couch bound

More literate
More balanced
More tolerant
More adventurous

Better role models
Better fathers
Better husbands and partners

Great Men who break repeating cycles and in turn raise Great Men.

I know plenty of great men. I also know plenty of men, and communities where men struggle with abuse and addictions and have never had great role models. These men are the role models for tomorrow’s men.

I know that a Ministry of Men’s Affairs is probably politically incorrect. It’s not a strong opinion or deep held belief or a statement on equality. Rather it’s an evocative post to remind us men are the cause of much of society’s problems, and maybe, just maybe, a focus on them might have long term benefits.

If you are a Man reading this post, the implication is clear.

Break the cycle. Be a Great Man!

Our Freedom came at a cost.

ANZAC Day CrossesToday is ANZAC day in New Zealand. Today we remember ordinary men who became heroes. Men who fought and died so that their generation, and those that followed might be free from oppression and evil. On this day we remember what it costs to have freedom; our countries freedom; our children’s freedom; your freedom.

And … Freedom is never free!

Our fallen heroes paid the ultimate price for our freedom. The cost to their lives and families we can barely comprehend.

Our freedom came at their cost.

Today is also my birthday, so it is somewhat fitting that my all-time favourite word is Freedom. It really is. I love the freedom we have in this country. I love being free. And I, like many of you, I take our freedom for granted all too often.

Freedom is never free ~ Lest we forget.

Freedom is never free

Freedom is never free

Freedom is never free.

Freedom comes at a cost. Many many people have died that we might have the freedoms we enjoy.

And one man died that we might have the freedom we where created for.

Easter and Anzac together. A reminder how blessed we are to be free.

294 |365 Stop the car

Day294.jpgI love how my team put up with my somewhat eccentric 365 photo project habits. Driving into Wellington after a fleeting trip to Christchurch and Wendy graciously stops the car so that I can get my photo of the day.
 
I couldn’t miss it. I mean how often do you get to Wellington with no wind, a beautiful day and all in the middle of winter.
 
It’s worth capturing, if not just to prove to future generations that it actually is possible.

278 |365 Energy

Huntly Power StationEnergy amazes me.

Take coal or gas and set fire to it (energy), convert that energy to electricity (energy), turn on a switch at home and the heater comes on (energy).

In the industrialised world, using unsustainable fuels were the norm. Then they built huge power stations like this one at Huntly. After all you need energy to make energy.

Nowadays we have more and more clean options like wind or geothermal, which is even more amazing.

On cold winters days like today’s. I am really thankful for modern energy.

« Older posts