Our lives are all partial reflections of others.
We all in someway reflect the people and events that have had an impression on us.
In some cases, repulsive and negative things done may be reflected in us. Things we would rather forget and wish they had never happened.
For the most part we reflect the good people in our lives. They may be parents or teachers or colleagues or friends or Jesus, and regardless of how independent we think we are, we are all small reflections of them.
So if my life is a partial reflection of others, how will I ensure that their reflection of me is a blessing, vivid and good?
Category: lead vividly (Page 12 of 18)
Moses once wrote ‘Teach us to number our days so that we may present to you a heart of wisdom’.
It’s almost as if he is saying we need to measure our time. Nowadays we measure almost everything, our bank balance, our speed, our weight, or our kids performance.
Yet we don’t measure our time to see if we are using it well. We rarely look back and make sure we are making the most of time.
At the moment, indirectly through 365, I am measuring time. It has been around 60% of the year since I began the 365 project. That’s 230 days or close to 20 million seconds.
Seeing how fast time is going, seeing pictures from 2 months ago, that feel like yesterday is really scary.
And a good reminder!
It seemed that the sun rose late, and was cloaked behind the fog that had lowered amongst the autumn leaves.
As it lifted later that morning, it unveiled an amazing autumn day.
Sometimes in life, amazing things, beautiful things are cloaked by the murkiness of life.
An awesome 40th birthday with my wife and kids.
Up at 5am for the ANZAC day dawn parade. It was a still misty poignant setting and a reminder that “freedom is never free”. Someone must always pay the price for freedom.
In the evening we headed out to Raglan to watch the sun set on the west coast of NZ, and eat fish and chips. A beautiful evening.
A fantastic day. (Even if I am now in my mid life)
My signatures are funny things. For instance I have four scribbles I call a signature. I have my initials scribble, my ‘Andrew’ scribble, my general letter scribble and my bank scribble. The picture scribble is none of the above, but they are all different, all unreadable, but all my mark.
The use of signatures date back thousands of years. They are my mark, a thing that identifies me. In the flick of a pen I acknowledge my agreement, my commitment, my obligation.
Today, I was thinking as I signed a new large contract we won recently, how most people sign very few things. Signing letters has been replaced with email, or txt, or verbal. Signing cheques replaced with pin numbers and credit cards.
Personally, when I sign a document, I make sure I am comfortable with my obligations and commitment, because it is ‘in writing’.
Yet my verbal commitment should always be just as strong as my signed commitment. My word should carry the same weight as my mark.
It was 11:30am, and with my entourage in tow, we stepped into a meeting with one of our largest clients only to be told we were expected at 10:00am. I explained that we were on time and I had checked his email the day before. But he was adamant we were late.
So a choice, prove I was right or apologise?
I apologised for being late.
Why? Because the relationship is far more important than being right.
On the way home I saw this cell-tower and I thought about communication. Communication is more than listening and talking. Good communication requires give and take, empathy and forgiveness, honesty and discretion.
When we communicate well, we realise the relationships are our highest priority.
Our house became progressively emptier over the last week. One of the kids headed to the grandparents last Wednesday, then the other two on Friday. On Monday Karina headed over to Tauranga for the night.
As the house emptied, the life of the house left. It was as though I had become a bachelor again. The life of the house is family. A family like most others, with conversation and laughter and arguments and squabbles and noise and homeliness.
As it emptied the home just became a house. A shelter. A place to rest.
Silence.
Late last night, everyone arrived home. Noise, buzz, stories, laughter and love.
Its home again!
[202 | 365 – ‘Bachelor’ – Being the bachelor that I now was, last night I cooked up a storm]
Behind these doors are warmth and shelter
Behind these doors are comfort and empathy
Behind these doors are amusement and joy
Behind these doors is home
Behind these doors is love
We had a BMW X1 launch in the vacant lot across from us, and they set up a huge tent and Pumice catered it.
The next morning I wandered over and looked at the new car. It reminded me about needs and wants. I neither need nor want a BMW X1. Some people will even think they NEED an X1.
It’s interesting how our needs change the more money we have. A person living without clean water, probably sits in the 92% of the world that don’t have a car at all, let alone need one. Their needs are a lot more basic.
A solo mum in NZ, needs a cheap but reliable car. A businessman like me who travels a lot needs a safe comfortable car. A richer person with cash to spare needs a BMW X1 to enable their status.
What I NEED is more what I want, and is not a need at all.
Need is a word we use often.
A word we over use.
‘I need this’ usually means ‘I want this’. Not the other way round.
On Sunday, conditions at the beach were gentle. It was low tide, with a light swell and small waves. There was plenty of room to make sand castles and bury kids in holes.
The next day it was high tide with a sizeable swell and the waves were crashing hard and sliding all the way up the beach to the sand dunes. There was no room to play or anywhere to relax.
I pondered how life can be like this. One day its gentle, plenty of room to play and relax, then suddenly, overnight it can change and things feel like that are crashing down around us, with no room for movement.
What surprises me the most, is when I have calm periods I forget that they don’t last forever, or when I have heavy crashing periods I forget calmer times will come.
Yesterdays conditions, like the surf , may be a completely different from today.
[194 | 365 – Changing Conditions – The family wade in the water as surfies watch the impact of the large swell and high tide]