I have always understood that we are all made unique, entirely individual and wonderfully complex. But the implication of these thoughts often escapes me in action.
I think the problem is that I have never really, honestly believed that we are hard wired differently. A lot of the people that work for me that are smarter than me, had more significant and influential experiences than me, and have far more knowledge than me. Because they are genuinely more intellectual than I am, I struggle heaps when they don't see the big picture, or when they hear what I say and then do things completely differently.
I posted the other day about the styles of influence course I attended. As I have reflected on it, and spent time with the CBC guys and Vinney and Don, I have come to understand that I can be critical and biased when talking to people.
I think that we all have unspoken expectations of people, and then get frustrated when people fail to meet those expectations. We start thinking that they are intentionally doing this to bug us, and then our attitude towards them changes. When our attitude changes, our ability to influence the person positively dramatically reduces.
When all this happens who has the problem us, or the other person?
Me or you?
I have been humbled completely as I have considered some of these lessons.
It is incredible to consider that in the last 2 days I have learnt more about myself and how I interact with other people, than I have probably done in the last 2 -3 years. On Sunday evening I had Vinney from idynamx staying with us from the US. He is a very astute and intelligent guy and it was fascinating to talk with him about Style of Influence and the implications into our lives.
On Monday I attended a one day course run by idynamx where we compared our personal styles of influence with other people I work with outside of agóge. To say that I found the day just intelligently stimulating and personally challenging, would be to dramatically underestimate its impact on my think.
Below is a summary of my unique design. I am, according to the Styles Of Influence, test a Creative Designer.
Creative designers want to get a job done and get it done fast. They influence others in a positive way through this use of clear thinking and a strong personality. Creative designers can influence in a negative way through intimidation or forcefulness. Generally creative designers are individualists who enjoy a great deal of variety. These people enjoy thinking up new ideas and helping to get other people to implement them. At times, they can be hard to get along with and seem like a bully or overly dominant. When a task is in full swing, these people may want to "bolt" before the project has been completed. They work best in an environment that gives room to be creative and yet one that has a certain measure of accountability.