Tag: Looking Back (Page 1 of 2)

Will it matter in 5 years time?

23 June 2016 / Andrew

If you have kids who play sports I’m sure you’ve experienced the challenges of finding a park close to the ground. On Saturday after finally parking ‘miles’ away from the fields, I was walking to watch the game and came across this street name.

Prior Place (No Exit).

Apart from smiling and wondering who named the street Prior Place, it made me think of prior places I have been. Not houses or streets as such, but situations.

Places where I felt like the world was caving in. Prior times when the pressure was unbearable. Anxious places that I thought had no exit, and wouldn’t end.

But they did end.

And there was a way out.

Life, as they say, went on.

It reminded me that the worry and stress and anxiety we face today, will seem insignificant in a few years’ time.

It reminded me that I need to do my best today, and not worry so much about tomorrow.

“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself”

∴

The not worrying about tomorrow doesn’t mean we don’t plan to do things in the future to fix our problem.

It does mean we don’t burn mental energy stressing about what we can’t fix today.

If you’re struggling with worry and stress about things at the moment. A great question to ask is this…

‘Will it matter in 5 years time?’

Effectively, when we look back at this prior place, will all this stress and worry be worth the energy I am pouring into it.

I can tell you from personal experience, that it almost always wont.

If you could relive this week, what would you do differently?

1 February 2014 / Andrew

This one simple question could radically change your upcoming week.

If you could relive this week, what would you do differently?

At work.

Or at home.

Mentally.

Physically.

Spiritually.

Financially.

What would you do differently?

Now note down one, or two, or three things and plan to do them in the week ahead.

∴

I stumbled across a form of this question recently and I have added it to my GTD weekly review. It has helped me see gaps I wouldn’t have otherwise seen, and put things in place to fix next week.

So STOP right now. Today. This moment. Answer the question, decide what to do differently.

Then repeat next week.

13 December 2013 / Andrew

Change is constantly upon us, and the winds of change are always blowing in our lives.

So often we lean in against the change. Fight it. And burn a heap of energy trying to get back to where we came from.

Usually, in the end, the change forces us there anyway, and we arrive there beaten and bruised and worn out.

When we fight change hard, we actually miss the opportunity to share in the adventure and journey of the new direction.

∴

Next time change is upon you, you have a choice:

Lean in and fight,

go with it and head off on the adventure!

Why you should believe in failures like me.

28 March 2013 / Andrew

I failed at school.

The best mark I received was an internally assessed A1 in School Cert science. It belonged to another student called Andrew Nichol and was whisked away as quickly as it arrived.

I left school at 17 barely able to read, average at the more complex forms of maths, but strangely very good at accounting. Despite being a “failure”, I have discovered I am actually not as dumb as the school system lead me to believe. In my adult years I taught myself to read (by reading more and more books I actually enjoy).

I have also been given incredible opportunities to lead.

To learn.

To succeed.

Why?

Because throughout my life, many incredibly courageous people have believed in me despite my failures. They were courageous because I could have crashed, failed again and tarnished their good name.

I would not be who I am today without their generosity.

∴

All of us have people who’ve believed in us against the odds. Therefore the implication is simple.

Who are we investing our time into, who might just succeed if we just see past their failure?

Who are you believing in against the odds?

Maybe its time you found someone.

Finally a shout out to just a few of the names I have randomly thought of as I wrote this post. Mum & Dad, Craig Jamieson, Dale Henderson, Bob Addison, Matt Ruys , Neville Stevenson, Ian Hogan, Colin Shotter, Dave Medhurst, Geoff LeCren, Glyn Gray, Jeff Smith, Bruce Thomson, Mark Thompson, Iain Hill, Jim Quinn,, Rowland Forman, Ken Frost, Campbell Forlong, Jim Grafas and of course Karina Nicol. Thank you for believing in me at various stages in my life. I am more grateful than words can express.

We are all horrendous and beautiful.

17 November 2012 / Andrew

As I stood motionless at the Killing Fields, what seemed like millions of tear drops landed on my umbrella. The bleak wet day only added to my somber mood as the horror of humanity played out in my mind. Men, women, boys, girls & babies slaughtered by their fellow countrymen on a scale I will never grasp.

Looking intently at a single skull I am repulsed by humanity. This skull is just one of thousands lining the shelves, that represent up to 1.4 million murder victims in Cambodia. At the height of the killing in Cambodia I was 8 years old and I heard of how boys as young as 11 were conscripted to the Khmer Rouge to become killers. Boys then, who are now men in their forties, murderers.

It is easy to stand divorced from the moment and think we would have behaved differently.

But we all have deceived others. All been deceived.

When faced with the choice of kill, or be killed, few of us really have the strength and courage to choose anything but life.

Humanity at its core is desperately dark.

We are all horrendous.

Yet…

As I traveled Cambodia every person I saw or spoke with was beautiful.

Some had bodies disfigured in ways I have never before seen, but they are beautiful.

Our Tuk Tuk drivers, beautiful.

The beggar and her child, beautiful.

Poor children playing in the water from a good well, beautiful.

Often the stories and circumstances were heart breaking, but the people …

Beautiful.

∴

Only senior officials of the Khmer Rouge will be brought to justice, which means tens of thousands of murderers now live ordinary lives in Cambodia. Is it possible I met some of these killers and thought they were beautiful? Yes, and I now understand that in the right circumstance we are all capable of the horror of the Khmer Rouge. (That doesn’t make it right.)

You are capable of these things.

You are horrendous.

Yet I just think … you are beautiful.

Lesson 4 from Cambodia visit 2012: We are all capable of horrendous things and we are all beautiful people.

So the water that comes from the Well is not 100% pure?

18 October 2012 / Andrew

Mid sentence Jim exhaled an audible groan and instantly we burst into uncontrolled laughter. The groan just reflected the thoughts echoing in our heads as we bounced, banged and rocked our way along the red clay road in a remote rural area of Cambodia. Our hosts were taking us, no, bouncing us to a village where BioSand Filters where in production.

We had come to Cambodia to see the good.water wells that Good Trust had funded and our partners Samaritans Purse have installed. Once at the communities we saw the wells, turned the handles to pump water, took photos and asked questions. It was incredibly satisfying to see clean water pouring from a hand pump on a well that we had enabled. Yet after watching them pump water, they promptly poured it into these bizarre looking concrete containers that trickled forth clean drinking water.

To be honest, before seeing Bio-Sand Filters (BSFs) in action I had not appreciated the importance they played in providing clean water. I very naively thought that we put a Well in, and the water was fresh and ready to drink. It is close, and infinitely better than drinking brown dirty water directly from the rice fields, which is what they did before, however when the water is filtered through a BSF is is 99% free of the germs and ugly stuff that causes sickness.

They are awesome!

Once we arrived at the village where BSFs were being built, we saw how actively involved the community was in constructing them. SP provided the molds and materials, and the people set about building almost a 100 BSFs for each home in the area. BSFs are very low maintenance and last up to 15 years. (If you want to know more about how BSFs work click here).

And the cost of the materials to provide clean water to a household for 15 years?

$30 !

∴

Personally what struck me most as I left the communities we visited was not that they had clean water, but rather how incredibly fortunate we are.

To get clean water they hand-pump water, carry it back to their home and pour it through a BSF. I on the other hand not only shower in drinking water at the turn of a tap, but water my lawns with drinking water in the summer.

And, for the price of feeding my family of 5 takeaways on the odd occasion, I could provide a family with clean water for 15 years!

Lesson 2 from Cambodia visit 2012: Bio Sand Filters are awesome value and worth the investment.

2 tips for being more generous and compassionate.

13 October 2012 / Andrew

On a wet humid evening we sat outside on the bustling street corner, in the heart of the action, waiting to enjoy our meal. The restaurant we chose, our clothes and the colour of our skin screamed to the locals that we were wealthy foreigners to Phnom Penh, and almost immediately we were confronted with invitations to purchase or give. Girls the age of my daughters selling bags, young men selling books and a Mother with a young child simply begging. At first we engaged with them, then quickly learnt it was easier to ignore them and their need.

Later as we meandered along the streets we saw a young child (12 – 18 months) standing on the footpath. I glanced down to see her mother bent over a rubbish bag scavenging for food. As I walked past I realised it was the women who had begged from us at dinner. The woman and child I had ignored. I returned and gave her some money, she thanked me, and went back to scavenging in the rubbish.

I learnt some lessons that evening, learnings that have implications beyond the poverty encountered in Cambodia.

We must be prepared to give:
When I hit Cambodia I hadn’t formed this thinking, which meant each situation I encountered required me to make yes/no decisions. Soon the answer just becomes NO.

You can’t fix everything you see, so being prepared means having the forethought to know what you believe in giving to, and how much. And to whom.

This applies equally back home. Knowing what we will give to, helps when people knock on the door or telemarketers call. Importantly knowing what you believe in giving to, means you will give. If you’re not prepared the answer quickly becomes NO.

We must be ready to give:
If being prepared is a state of mind, then being ready is practical. For us it meant having small amounts of money available for donations. Whether running in the morning or on a Tuk Tuk, we had money to give without hesitation to make a small difference.

At home, I barely ever carry money, and therefore it is significantly harder for me to give without hesitation to make a small immediate difference.

∴

I know a lot of people like me have a heart to give, to be compassionate and yet miss opportunities. So may you prepare your hearts to know when and how you will give. And then may you be ready to give without hesitation.

May you encounter the joy of making a difference.

Lesson 1 from Cambodia visit 2012: Being prepared to give.

Learning to be decisive and the two things that stop me.

28 May 2012 / Andrew

After more than 10 years my picture of the moment is more like a bird’s eye view, than sitting in the seat of the car I was driving. From up above I remember the exact place I was parked on the motorway on-ramp, while waiting to converge with the peak hour traffic. I remember the car, the weather and my mood.

Most importantly I remember the conclusion of my self-talk.

“I will make a decision within 24 hours if I have all the information I need, or I will request more information”

It was a decision to be decisive. A resolve not to be a bottleneck. A drive to allow people to move forward with their jobs and projects, quickly and effectively.

It was a verdict against indecisiveness.

Over my years I have often seen very intelligent managers rendered almost ineffective as leaders, because they cannot make decisions.

It would be great if I could tell you I always make decisions quickly, but I falter and generally there are two reasons I’m not decisive;

I fool myself into believing I must have 99.99% certainty before making the call, which I barely ever get, so I sit on it. Over think it. And wait … and wait.
I know the decision that needs to be made, but it is hard. It involves hard conversations that people might not like. People might not like me. So I do nothing.

In both cases, my indecisiveness annoys the people I work with, and cripples the organisation I am trying to lead.

To be sure being decisive has risk. Making a decision with only 60% of the information can mean you get it wrong. It can cost money. It can make you look bad. Really bad!

But from my experience, you also make a heap more good decisions than bad. And the good decisions seem to out multiply the bad.

When I left the job I had at the time, two of my team independently told me I was the most decisive manager they ever had.

Of course being decisive applies to every area of our lives.

The implication; decide to be decisive.

Impatience that leads to frustration!

31 July 2011 / Andrew

I was excited at getting home earlier, relaxing and finally ending a long day of travel. I was “lucky” enough to get moved to a flight that was due to leave Wellington an hour earlier than my original flight. I was homeward bound.

As I waited for my boarding call I noticed the “early” flight was delayed.

Then delayed again. And again.

We board, wait for missing passengers and finally we taxi out, then accelerate down the runway. As we get airborne I glance out the window to see my original flight taxiing out. “So much for earlier” I thought. And being the competitive person I am, checked the relative speed of the two aircraft and determined I would still be in 5 minutes earlier.

Not so. The weather started to turn and our pilots weaved around a lightning storm. My “early” flight finally landed 25 minutes AFTER my original flight, which somehow managed to fly directly to Hamilton.

Talk about frustrating.

I got home frustrated, tired and late. Maybe even a little bit grumpy.

The next morning I was following this truck. “Impatience leads to frustration” it inaudibly shouts. I guess it can be easy to be impatient behind a slow truck. The more impatient we become, the more frustrated we become.

Impatience leads to frustration.

Impatience on delayed flights.

Impatience while waiting our turn.

Impatience with your computer, or kids, or wife, or staff.

Impatience then frustration. And frustration causes us to forget just how lucky we are.

Like my trip from Hamilton to Christchurch to Wellington to Hamilton in a day. It’s incredible I can do all that in a day. And I get frustrated because I arrived home 25 minutes late.

I was impatient, then frustrated, for no good reason.

230 |365 Measuring Time

11 May 2010 / Andrew

Moses once wrote ‘Teach us to number our days so that we may present to you a heart of wisdom’.

It’s almost as if he is saying we need to measure our time. Nowadays we measure almost everything, our bank balance, our speed, our weight, or our kids performance.

Yet we don’t measure our time to see if we are using it well. We rarely look back and make sure we are making the most of time.

At the moment, indirectly through 365, I am measuring time. It has been around 60% of the year since I began the 365 project. That’s 230 days or close to 20 million seconds.

Seeing how fast time is going, seeing pictures from 2 months ago, that feel like yesterday is really scary.

And a good reminder!

Tag: Looking Back (Page 1 of 2)

Will it matter in 5 years time?

∴

If you could relive this week, what would you do differently?

∴

∴

Why you should believe in failures like me.

We are all horrendous and beautiful.

2 tips for being more generous and compassionate.

∴

Learning to be decisive and the two things that stop me.

Impatience that leads to frustration!

230 |365 Measuring Time

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