Lead a vivid life that does good

Tag: learning

You have a fixed mindset and here’s how to fix it.

Growth comes from the edgesI was attending a conference recently where the keynote speaker was talking about fixed and growth mindsets. He asked everyone who had a fixed mindset to raise their hand and naturally I did.

I was the only one!

Which is crazy because we all have a fixed mindset. In fact the majority of our beliefs and attention are focused on supporting our current world view.

Don’t believe me? Consider these topics… Climate change; immunisation; diversity; feminism; evolution; the government; raising kids; your boss; or even what AI will do to your job. I guarantee you, like me, that you have a fixed mindset in most of these areas. Which is OK, because we can’t be growing in every area, at all times.

So how do we transition from fixed to growth in an area of strong belief?

Learn at the edges.

Take an area where your mindset is fixed and learn or read or consider the complete opposite edge of your current view. Or if your belief is middle of the road, read at the extreme edges of both points of view. As you approach the edges with openness, your views and beliefs will shift. Often not to the edge, but almost certainly from where it was.

Growth doesn’t come from focusing our attention narrowly.

Growth comes at the edges.

I wonder if the fact that I was the only person to raise my hand about having a fixed mindset, means that I was the only one who actually had a true growth mindset.

Because knowing where our mindset is fixed, is the foundation of true growth.

Living with slightly embarrassing

Should we kill perfectionism?We no longer live in a world where everyone feels the need to always strive for perfection.

As a leader and self-diagnosed perfectionist this poses some big challenges.

  • There are no perfect decisions; more time, does not equal more right. In fact, the sooner you decide, the sooner you move forward and learn.
  • There is no perfect design; as everyone has different tastes and opinions.
  • There is no perfect strategy; as all plans change as they encounter the real issues in the marketplace.

In the startup and knowledge economy I’ve come to understand that perfect is the enemy of speed. Which is why at coHired, our company-wide number one priority includes the phrase “deliver a slightly embarrassing product”.

Slightly embarrassing means that we collectively kill perfectionism, knowing that the best path to perfect is by delivering the imperfect and learning from it.

If you’re a struggling perfectionist like me, here’s a tip:

I’m learning to break my perfectionist tendency by giving the work I would normally try to ‘perfect’ to someone else. It’s almost guaranteed they won’t do it the way I would, which means it won’t be my kind of ‘perfect’, but it almost always is great enough to move forward.

Re-framing Failure

What have you learnt from the gift of failure this week

“I hate the word failure and wish it never existed,” I stated as strongly as I could as we reflected on some past experiences.

I shared that the problem with failure is its opposite seems to be pass.

The problem with pass is it has a strong mental connection to school or uni, where you pass or fail.

If you didn’t pass.

You failed.

You were a failure.

Nowadays, particularly in start-ups, ‘failing often’ or ‘failing fast’ is seen as a badge of honour. Because you can learn so much from failure.

Which is why I love how schools are trying their hardest to re-frame the word failure.

My friend who I was sharing all this with said that each Friday, his daughter is asked at her primary school, “What have you learnt from the gift of failure this week?”

Isn’t that a great question! Take another look.

What have you learnt from the gift of failure this week?

I realised in that conversation that I need to intentionally re-frame the word ‘failure’. To stop hating on it.

It should no longer be linked to pass or fail. Rather it should be linked to all the successes I have had as a result of learning from my failure.

Failure can be a gift.

If you learn from it.

 

What have you learnt from the gift of failure this week?

[pause]

[reflect]

Have you learnt anything?

Because if you haven’t, maybe your stuck in your comfort zone again.

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

When was the last time you did something newThe other week I tried riding a Segway/Hover Board for the first time. It didn’t go well; I lost balance, crashed, then gave up after one attempt fearing injury and a bruising to my ego. Not surprisingly my son with his young plastic mind got it almost straight away.

Doing something for the first time is healthy for your mind. It causes the brain to learn and adapt to new knowledge.

Doing something for the first time is risky. You might get hurt, emotionally or relationally or even physically. Often you won’t enjoy it the first time, because it’s hard to learn or do something new.

That shouldn’t stop you trying.

We should make doing something for the first time a goal for each week.

It could be the first time you do something adventurous like Wake Boarding. The first time you read a new author. The first time you have lunch with your neighbour. The first time we walk somewhere we normally drive. The first time you learn a new skill. The first time you watch a TED video, or the 100th time but the first time you watch one that doesn’t appeal to you.

So many ways to do something for the first time.

What’s really stopping you?

Take care of your brain

Take care of your brain“Yes I’ve put that in my ‘stuff up’ folder” was the reply as we discussed a small error that one of my team had just made. Now the error the person had made was on a task they had never done before, (ever!) and hadn’t been trained for, but they labelled it a stuff up.

Immediately I replied you shouldn’t be calling it a ‘stuff up folder’. A ‘learning’s folder’ maybe or a ‘helpful notes’ folder, but when you use the term ‘stuff up’ you tell your brain that you failed.

We do this often as human beings. Use destructive language on ourselves. By tagging it as a ‘stuff up’ we run the risk of telling ourselves a story of failure and if that goes too far, we become scared of risk and trying new things.

There are of course many forms of ‘stuff ups’

I always do that wrong…

I’m useless at …

I could never …

Sometimes they are really valid.

But often they are phrases we need to single out for what really they are, and intentionally replace with positive statements. And by doing so, we take better care of our brain, and free ourselves up to learn more.

We no longer have an excuse not to learn

Carpe Diem - Seize the DayOver the Christmas holidays I spent a little time doing a course at codecademy.com. It only took a few hours and I learnt a lot, engaged a different part of my brain and can now lead our IT team slightly better.

Codecademy is one of literally thousands of free online courses now available on just about any subject, many of them from world leading schools and universities.

10 years ago, this wasn’t possible. Just 10 years!

20 years ago having access to some of the world’s best, for FREE, was unthinkable.

Now, more than ever before, it is possible to learn and gain experience in your own home.

For free.

The only cost … is your time.

Your discipline.

There are no longer any excuses.

No one to blame other than yourself.

So go, seize the day.

 

 

Why you should love being wrong.

Be WrongI love being wrong.

No actually that’s a lie!  Being wrong, is no fun, frustrating and outright embarrassing. Yet, I don’t hate being wrong either.

As children, most of our learning occurred as a result of being wrong. It’s weird then that most adults I know try to avoid being wrong, and in doing so miss incredible opportunities to discover new forms of right. We have grown to believe that being right about everything is good. It’s NOT.

If we are never wrong, we are never prepared to change.

And if we are never prepared to change, we never get the opportunity to grow.

So… be wrong.

Sometimes the hardest part of being wrong is admitting that this thing, or habit, or belief you have might not be right. Particularly when you have done it for so long.

Dont be afraid to be wrong every so often.

Without being wrong, we may never learn what’s right.

I don’t get time to …

I don’t get time to … think

I don’t get time to … exerciseclock

I don’t get time to … read

I don’t get time to … do good

I don’t get time to … play with the kids

I don’t get time to … relax

I don’t get time to … [fill in the blank]

You are right of course.

You only get time to do the things you choose to do. You can’t make time, but we can lose it doing the wrong things.

Like me you probably need to stop doing some things, to make time for the things that are really important.