People Matter ∴ Do Good

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Tag: Empathy

Why I don’t understand US politics, gun control and practically everything else.

16 June 2016 /

great solutions starts with understandingI don’t understand how a person can be so broken, so full of hate, that they walk into a club and murder 49 people.

I don’t understand how guns can be used in 231 US murders each week, and the people of America not see there is a problem with guns.

I don’t understand why the right to bear arms, appears more important than the obligation for peace and safety and love.

I don’t understand how a country can be so divided down two political party lines, that democracy itself appears hangs in the balance.

Because I don’t understand, it makes it very easy for me to hold strong views. Very easy to throw stones.

Because I don’t understand, if I lived in America, I would be part of the problem.

I don’t understand because I have never WALKED IN THEIR SHOES. Been brought up with their beliefs. Lived their life. Heard their narrative.

I don’t understand because I have never sought to understand the other positions, and because I am naive enough to apply my world view, to theirs.

Great solutions starts with understanding.

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It doesn’t matter the topic … gun control; global poverty; human rights; religion; overcrowded housing in Auckland; local crime; or even why your neighbour lives differently to you, if you don’t take the time to understand, you are a part of the problem.

My life is always richer, fuller and more collaborative when I seek to understand.

Changing the world, or even just one relationship, starts with understanding.

Pain you are such a pain

9 December 2014 /

Braces-Pain-300x238I was recently chatting with a mum who had just had braces put on her teeth. She was describing how painful it was. As she talked I realised how much I had discounted the pain that my kids experienced when they had braces.

Another friend of my has been experiencing crippling pain that has her bed ridden and wished like anything it would go away. I had no idea and my heart aches for her.

Then there is the guy I know who is carrying emotional pain from years ago. My heart aches as I hear his story and I hope he can navigate the hurt and find grace.

I have noticed recently how pain takes so many different shapes. Pain truly is painful.

I’m reminded how often I discount other people’s pain, predominately because I’ve not experienced it. I act like the pain for them can’t be as bad as they say, when in truth it is worse, crippling and more emotional than I would ever expect.

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Pain really is a pain, and all of us experience pain so differently.  This leads me to the twofold purpose of this post:

Firstly, when someone tells us they are in pain, we need to be slower to discount their pain and show way more empathy. We after all are not the ones in pain.

And finally, we should appreciate how at this moment, right now, we are blessed to be relatively pain free.

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