Category: lead vividly (Page 8 of 18)

If you could relive this week, what would you do differently?

1 February 2014 / Andrew

This one simple question could radically change your upcoming week.

If you could relive this week, what would you do differently?

At work.

Or at home.

Mentally.

Physically.

Spiritually.

Financially.

What would you do differently?

Now note down one, or two, or three things and plan to do them in the week ahead.

∴

I stumbled across a form of this question recently and I have added it to my GTD weekly review. It has helped me see gaps I wouldn’t have otherwise seen, and put things in place to fix next week.

So STOP right now. Today. This moment. Answer the question, decide what to do differently.

Then repeat next week.

Why choosing what to hate is so important

16 January 2014 / Andrew

Yesterday I was writing a note to some staff whose pay we were correcting for the second time. In the note I wrote “We hate getting your pay wrong”. Hate is a strong word, but we really do. We know people rely on us for their weekly income and few things bug me more than to stuff that up. As I wrote the words “we hate” I was reminded that hating the right things can be really important.

Hate is a dangerous and yet powerful word.

It’s outright dangerous to hate yourself. Or hate a person. Or hate good. Hating the wrong things will focus you on the negative and drain the life out of you. To hate something, either good or bad, is the extreme opposite of loving it. What you hate, says a lot about your character.

“I hate …” can be powerful and strong words and here are 3 examples.

“I hate being late”
A person who hates being late is different to a person who “try” to be on time. Because she hates it, you can bet that they will do everything they can to be on time. Her hatred for being late says heaps about the person’s character. And if they are late, you will see that they are gutted.

“I hate injustice”
There are a lot of people in the world, who see injustice and dislike it. A few even dislike it a lot. I have not met many people who hate injustice, because to hate it means they are compelled to do something about it. To hate positively changes a person from apathy to action.

“I hate dishonesty”
At Agoge one of our values is integrity, which means absolute impeccable honesty. If I had to choose between a guy who hates dishonesty and one that tries to be honest, I would choose the guy who hates it. If he hates dishonesty it drives him to be honest and demand honesty. It means he cares about honesty and that is powerful.

What you and I hate says more about us than we realise. It speaks of what we value, what we care about. And choosing the right things to hate, and letting go of the wrong things, will radically change how you live.

∴

I think sometimes we need to make a decision to hate something, not merely dislike it. It’s almost as though we need to build a hatred for it and by doing so that strong hatred will drive the actions.

I would love to be able to say that “I hate injustice” but as I wrote this post, I realise I just dislike it. It’s something I need to work on.

Maybe then I will take more action towards injustice when I see it.

13 December 2013 / Andrew

Change is constantly upon us, and the winds of change are always blowing in our lives.

So often we lean in against the change. Fight it. And burn a heap of energy trying to get back to where we came from.

Usually, in the end, the change forces us there anyway, and we arrive there beaten and bruised and worn out.

When we fight change hard, we actually miss the opportunity to share in the adventure and journey of the new direction.

∴

Next time change is upon you, you have a choice:

Lean in and fight,

go with it and head off on the adventure!

What’s the most important phrase for making things happen?

5 December 2013 / Andrew

So often our choice of words lets us down. We use strange phrases to express some action we may do in the future.

I think … I’ll start exercising.

I should … apologise.

I need … to lose weight.

I want … to read more.

When you hear someone (or even yourself) use ‘think’, ‘should’, ‘need’, ‘want’ maybe you could gently ask, “When are you going to?”

I’m going to … go for a run with my son.

I’m going to … track kilojoules to lose weight.

I’m going to …

I’m going to, means I’m serious. I’m going to, means I’ve made a decision, and while I may not make it everyday, I’m on the right track.

∴

We all know the words we choose are important. One of the most important things we can do, is question ourselves when we use the words like ‘should’, ‘think’, ‘want’ and ‘need’.

Are we just trying to make ourselves feel like something might happen sometime in the future, or is it that …

I’m going to … !

Why choosing to be gracious is so important

28 November 2013 / Andrew

The enemy stood on the other side of the reception desk, or at least that’s is how the man next to us behaved as he ranted about some problem or another. We too had a problem, the room we had just checked into had not been cleaned properly. We could tell it hadn’t been cleaned as the toilet was full of, shall we say, number 2’s. In fact the toilet appeared almost blocked.

As I stood about to engage with the receptionist, with my daughter at my side, I knew I had a choice. I could choose to treat the receptionist as my enemy, as the causer of the problem.

I could rant.

And rave.

And demand.

Or …

I could be gracious.

I could smile, speak warmly, explain the problem without blame. I could be eager for a solution, but then be happy with whatever outcome, knowing in the scheme of things, it is nothing.

I choose to be gracious, and while the other guy continued to rant and alienate the other receptionist, we were shown to a new room by housekeeping.

∴

On one of the long flights to London, I realised that I had a choice. I could choose to be your typical demanding, self focused tourist, or I could be gracious. Waiting, smiling, generous, and letting others go first.

I chose to be gracious. I made a choice long before speaking to that receptionist, which made talking to the receptionist, warm and enjoyable, for both of us.

By choosing to be gracious our world changes, and small things stay just as they are, small.

I was reminded of that the other day as I lacked grace.

16 August 2013 / Andrew

It’s funny how shadows can be good and bad. A person standing in the right spot to shield the sun from our eyes, is a good shadow. Yet the clouds maneuvering themselves in front of the sun on a bitter winters day, creates cold and dark shadows.

As a leader I know I cast good and bad shadows.

As a leader, I have made some dreadful decisions that have caused the company and people significant hardship. In these times the shadow I cast has been lousy.

As a leader, there are even times I manage to cast a good, positive, warm shadow. By learning to care more. Or execute better. Or empower my team. When I do this I see the culture ripple down throughout the organisation in a beautiful way. I think Robert’s phrase says it all and I’m reminded again this week about the shadow I cast.

Still a long elongated way to go … but a work in progress.

∴

As a leader what shadow are you casting?

Why I make Caring a task

2 August 2013 / Andrew

At Agoge one of our essential values is “be caring”. As the guy at the top I see it as a core responsibility to cast a shadow of caring across the entire organisation. One of the ways I do this is I aim to touch base with our core team in the company at least every month or so.

Often I fail, because aiming to touch base is different to actually calling. For example recently, when I rang Brendon, we pretended like we hadn’t talked in years, when in fact we hadn’t spoken in a month or so.

After Brendon’s call, I knew that I had to once again make caring a task. I changed how it appeared in my weekly review, and I plan to check in on a couple of people a week.

To some, making caring a task feels wrong. Shouldn’t caring be spontaneous and in the moment? Yes, caring should be spontaneous, and yes caring should be planned.

By making caring a task, you make sure that the people you care about, actually know you care.

That’s the case with our team. They are awesome people spread all over this country and I care deeply for them. If I don’t make caring a task, the busyness of business can allow far to much time pass before we catch up.

And because I care, that can’t be the case!

∴

So who do you need to make a task to care for today?

Who have you been meaning to call or visit, and left far too long?

Why not capture that task right now.

They will appreciate it.

Slowing down and stopping are polar opposites.

10 July 2013 / Andrew

“You should stop and take a photo” my friend says this time, more firmly than the first.

You see I’m back taking a photo a day again. Back wandering through life with my eyes open to moments I can capture. Back looking to lock memories of each day into still form. Back prepared to stop for the perfect picture, or so I thought.

On this day I wouldn’t have stopped if not for the insistence of my friend. On this day I would have missed this photo which connects so many memories of the day.

When it comes to taking photos, slowing down, and stopping, are polar opposites. I can slow the car down and think ‘that would be a nice photo’, but it never will be a nice photo without stopping.

It’s the same in life I am discovering. While Tammy was sick we would spend hours with her, sitting on the floor and just hanging out with her. We were prepared to stop. Stop everything. To spend precious moments with her.

Now that our journey together is over, I am finding life accelerating to break neck speed.

I barely slow down.

Let alone stop.

I’m not sure that is healthy.

∴

I’m always busy. Always have too much to do. I always will, its in my DNA.

However while Tammy was sick, it amazed me how we as a team could make time for her. My priorities changed and caused other insignificant tasks to not get done. And it didn’t matter because stopping was more important than tasks.

Like photography I’m reminded that stopping to care for people, is the polar opposite, to slowing down.

Maybe, like me, you need to remember that today.

Maybe you need to STOP.

Tammy when I hear, Courageous or Aroha, I think of you.

21 June 2013 / Andrew

To my friend Tammy,

I will never forget asking you to ‘tell me your story’ in your interview for Agoge. Most people shy away from the question and lack authenticity, however your answer was powerful, rich and beautiful.

Your words told of pain and tragedy.

Your words spoke of love for your girls.

Your words reflected a desire for people and growth and purpose.

In that moment I knew you were meant to join our team at Agoge and you fit into the team like the missing piece of our puzzle. You are an amazing recruiter who loves to interview and cares about everyone you met. More importantly you understand Agoge and what we value and stand for.

As we have journeyed your fight with cancer together, I seldom feel that the words I speak to encourage you, do justice to the person you are. So here is my feeble attempt at writing words I struggle to say.

When I hear Courageous, I think of you.
You are so courageous. Even before I met you, your life, struggles and story had built in you a strength and determination many long for, but few experience. In your love for the Chance and Hayze , your love for Tom, at home, in your friendships, in your work, in your netball, and even in your sickness, you display such courage to fight for the things that are important to you. The courage to love. To reach out to those who need you. To care. To organise everyone. And the courage to try, when others would give up.

When I hear Aroha, I think of you.
The Maori word aroha seems so much richer in meaning than that lazy English word love. Aroha seems to blend love, and giving, and compassion, and action together into one verb. Aroha seems to naturally describe you Tammy. You are so giving, so caring, so selfless, and so loving. You continually put the needs of others before yourself, not because you have to, but because of your genuine natural aroha for all the people in your life.
To be courageous is one thing. But to have courage and aroha at the same time is unique and inspirational.

Your courage and aroha inspire me to live more fully.

Thank you for saying yes to working at agoge. Thank you for your friendship. Thank you for inspiring me.

Aroha nui

∴

I wrote this post and Tammy read it a month or so ago. I have been waiting for the right time to make it public. As she grows weary from her fight, I feel as though now is the right time.

I hope it’s again an encouragement to Tammy. I hope it might inspire those of you who know Tammy to encourage her and bring some words of beauty into her difficult days.

If you don’t know how to start maybe you could start with “When I hear …., I think of you”. Maybe those words will be something you can learn from Tammy, that will stay with you forever. Courageous and Aroha certainly will for me.

Post it on Facebook, txt her or even write her a letter.

Aroha to all of you.

Andrew

[Updated 28 June 2013]

In memory of Tammy Bubs Potania Te Huia | 30 Dec 1978 – 27 Jun 2013

I miss you already

🙁

NB: Finally the photo is one we took at Agoge under a year ago (Sep 2012), of her being crazy at her desk.

Why choosing our state of mind is so important.

25 April 2013 / Andrew

Maybe it was the relentless dull drone of the engines, or the claustrophobic feel of the cabin. Maybe it was the absence of company or even just that my book was not riveting. Whatever it was my one hour flight to escape Palmerston North seemed to take forever. It was so painful. So boring.

After landing I disembarked the plane so quickly you would think I had been ejected. Then I begin a slow relaxing fight with the Auckland rush hour traffic back to Hamilton.

Did you catch that?

My drive home, that was in rush hour traffic, that took twice as long as normal, and even took twice as long as the flight from Palmerston, was relaxing, all because my state of mind was different. Which is bizarre because on any other day it would have been annoying.

Isn’t it scary how my ‘state of mind’ has more effect on my enjoyment of something, than the activity itself.

And my state of mind is formed by my self-talk, or what I tell myself in my brain. If I tell myself I am dreading a one hour flight, I will hate it.

∴

Today I turn 43, and whether I feel old or young will depend on my self talk. Will depend on my state of mind.

It doesn’t matter if its age, or kids, or family, or friendship, or sickness, or sport, or work. You get to choose your self-talk. You get to choose your state of mind.

Will you choose to have a positive a state of mind today?

Go ahead. It can be your birthday gift to me.

Category: lead vividly (Page 8 of 18)

If you could relive this week, what would you do differently?

∴

∴

What’s the most important phrase for making things happen?

∴

Why choosing to be gracious is so important

Why I make Caring a task

Slowing down and stopping are polar opposites.

Tammy when I hear, Courageous or Aroha, I think of you.

Why choosing our state of mind is so important.

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