Lead a vivid life that does good

Category: Human

Energy Redefined: Beyond the Leaky Bucket

As the new year unfolds, it’s an opportune time to reflect on how we perceive energy. Often, we liken our energy to a leaky bucket, something that depletes and needs constant refilling. But this perspective might be limiting us.

What if we reimagined energy through different metaphors?

For me, I relate to energy like the wind or a breeze. The wind is always there – sometimes subtle, other times forceful. Understanding the direction of life’s winds is crucial. For instance, my aging father is nearing the end of his life, a situation requiring me to travel weekly in an already busy schedule. I could resist it, fight against it and feel drained by it or I accept it, recognizing that this is where the wind is currently taking me and look for ways for it to energise me.

Of course plenty of potential metaphors for personal energy.

Imagine energy as wind, guiding us like a sailboat on its course.

Or as ocean waves, where we learn to ride the highs and lows.

Perhaps, think of it as a flowing river, carrying us effortlessly forward.

These metaphors aren’t just poetic; they offer new ways to understand and harness our energy.

When we think about energy incorrectly we run the risk of viewing things as de-energising when in fact they are just this season of life.

By exploring these varied metaphors, we open ourselves to more fluid, dynamic ways of managing and experiencing our energy, transforming not just how we feel, but how we engage with life itself.

So what is your metaphor for personal energy?

How to really win an argument

Win the person not the battleRecently I was chatting to a stranger who had, in my opinion, a very dated and passionate view on military conscription.

Now like you, I am very opinionated.

This means we encounter people with very different views to us. And, if we aren’t careful this can lead us to bombard them with our opinion, to persuade them, and show them where they are wrong. We want to prove our point. And in some ways be victorious in this small battle.

And in doing so…

We.

Lose.

The.

Person!

As I talked to the passionate opinionated stranger my desire was for just one thing.

To win the person, not win the battle.

So, I listened.

Asked questions.

Tried to understand their view.

And, not surprisingly, learnt something.

There are plenty of places for disagreement and this September we have some pretty big issues to vote on in the referendums.

Already the opinions are strong, and they will escalate to conversations and social media rants.

And when these opinions conflict with yours remember its more important to Win the person, not the battle.

Choosing your response

we always get a choice about how we respondLife can never be lived perfectly.

It won’t always go the way you planned.

At times it can be frustrating, annoying, disappointing and painful all at the same time.

And when our world is spinning out of control we can feel our choices are limited.

But … we always get a choice … about how we respond…

Choose…

Kindly.

Boldly.

Vividly.

Lovingly.

Magically.

Graciously.

Beautifully.

Authentically.

It’s easy to become frustrated or beat ourselves up when things aren’t going well. We can feel justified in the way we feel, vindicated even.

That is, until we remember that we always have a choice in how we respond.

When we choose to take a different position, when we step into different actions, then

life

begins

to

brighten

again!

Hindsight gifts insights, that improves foresight.

Hindsight gifts insights, that improves foresight.Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but we are already one month into 2019.

So how are those goals, ambitions, dreams and resolutions going?

If you are struggling, maybe it’s because you aren’t using hindsight well.

 

Hindsight offers 20:20 vision

It is fair to say that last year did not all go as planned for me.

So at the end of the year I sat and reflected on each month, making as many notes as possible about what happened. I was reminded of some big wins, all the learning, and the amazing people I met. And of course I got to see what didn’t go that well.

I then looked for insights (ah-ha moments) and asked questions like “What did I do that made the biggest difference?” and “What do I need to tweak to help me achieve my goals?”

One thing I noticed was that changes late in the year meant I had fallen into a pattern of managing individuals rather than leading teams (which is not great for a CEO). Using hindsight helped me notice it and make changes to protect this year.

Hindsight if we take the time, actually helps us see and live into the future better.

Hindsight gifts insights, that improves foresight.

We often think about hindsight as … “If I knew then, what I know today, I would’ve done things differently.

Which is different from 20:20 hindsight which is …“What will I do differently today, from what I learnt from then?”

Our attention defines our beliefs

“Cask wine still exists!” I was surprised to say the least. I had been eating lunch with friends and they politely informed me that cask wine was still a thing. Not convinced, because I’ve never seen it at the supermarket, I decided to check it out the next time I went shopping and I was expecting it to be tucked away in some obscure place.

Well it turns out… There is an entire shelf for cask wine, who knew!

It shouldn’t have surprised me, because they are over 20,000 different items in many supermarkets, far more than our brains can keep track of. So as we walk around looking for the items on our shopping list, our brains shut out all the clutter so that we are not overwhelmed and can focus on what we need.

Our attention is focused only on what we want to see.

Which is

a

BIG

problem!

In our everyday lives, we are constantly ignoring most things that are counter to our world view.

To make matters worse, we subconsciously choose to only read or learn or engage with books and articles and videos that support our existing views.

All that leads us to make judgements and build beliefs that are not based on a full picture.

They are based on what we choose to see!

To finish my wine story. I’m a low-level wine snob and generally buy international wine, which is right next to the cask wine (See photo). Cask Wine

It was literally right in front of my eyes. Every … time … I went to buy wine.

Where we focus our attention … is where we form our view of reality.

Even if it’s not real.

Over and over again I have beliefs that are not based on fact. They are based entirely on where I historically focused my attention.

By not changing where I focus my attention, I become close minded.

Which doesn’t make me a great leader.

And makes me a lesser human.

 

Next week, big promise, I’ll share how ‘learning at the edges’ can help with our attention.

Every Single Day

The secret to daily exerciseI’m not sure what caused the epiphany. Maybe it was the brief moment I had sitting in crisp fresh air marveling at the lake and mountains nestled in the Swiss Alps. Perhaps it was processing time from long hours of driving. Or something I was reading, I cannot recall.

But on that day, I knew that I was making a decision that would impact the rest of my life.

So I started.

And I’ve done it every day since.

That was 1301 days ago.

Back in October 2013, I decided to exercise everyday for the rest of my life. Which I am aware sounds way more amazing than it actually is.

So here are my two secrets:

First, because I love freedom, I have a very loose definition of exercise. Exercise for me can be the hard, less fun, stuff like running 10km, or going to the gym. Exercise is also going for a walk with my wife, having a walking meeting with a co-worker, or playing basketball with my son. And on the bad days when time is short or I’ve been sick, exercise might be something as simple as some press ups.

To exercise means “activity carried out to improve your health”.

That’s pretty loose.

So why over complicate it?

My second secret. Doing it every single day. (The only leave pass I will give myself is being in a coma.)

Doing anything daily sounds exhausting, but I actually find it rewarding (particularly given the low expectations I have). Once the habit is established, it is significantly easier than trying to remember to do something X times a week.

And I enjoy it.

So what could you do, every single day?

If you made the rules loose enough?

I’m not disciplined. My life experiences and various psych tests prove that.

I also take a photo everyday. When I did the photo of the day, the first time for a year I found it exhausting because I had a bunch of rules. When I started again on my birthday back in 2013, I decided I had no rules. Just take or get a picture.

SO MUCH EASIER!

I’m not disciplined, but doing 1 thing, intentionally, everyday.

Proves to me, that I can be.

And it could prove it to you to.