Lead a vivid life that does good

Month: April 2014

Are you dressing for success?

Dress for SuccessYou wouldn’t wear Pajamas to an interview or shorts to a formal dinner. That’s because we know that how we dress impacts how people see us, and we like them to see us at our best.

The truth is, what we wear has more impact on us, than it does on those around us.

What we wear can significantly change our mood and attitude and activity.

What we wear is a powerful trigger for our minds, which help us make things happen.

And, what you wear next will determine how successful you will be.

Know you should go exercise but can’t be bothered; get dress for exercise, put your shoes on, and off you will go.

Need to be creative at work; flag the business clothes and wear smart casual.

Had a hard day at work; get changed into comfortable relaxing clothes as soon as you get home.

I’ve found using clothes to shift my mood or attitude or activity really does make a huge difference.

What you wear will as well…

Our Freedom came at a cost.

ANZAC Day CrossesToday is ANZAC day in New Zealand. Today we remember ordinary men who became heroes. Men who fought and died so that their generation, and those that followed might be free from oppression and evil. On this day we remember what it costs to have freedom; our countries freedom; our children’s freedom; your freedom.

And … Freedom is never free!

Our fallen heroes paid the ultimate price for our freedom. The cost to their lives and families we can barely comprehend.

Our freedom came at their cost.

Today is also my birthday, so it is somewhat fitting that my all-time favourite word is Freedom. It really is. I love the freedom we have in this country. I love being free. And I, like many of you, I take our freedom for granted all too often.

Freedom is never free ~ Lest we forget.

Is worry a good use of our imagination?

Pause for a moment and think back to when you were young. Do you remember some of the ways you let your imagination run wild.

Most of us as children had powerful imaginations. At night you would see a shadow cast by a tree and think it was a burglar … or ghost … or monster … scary! By day our imagination would run wild and allow us to turn some boxes into an amazing castle where we could defeat any enemy.

As we grow older we don’t imagine less … we imagine differently.

Now we imagine things happening to our kids. Imagine that conversation before it actually happens. Imagine her motives.

From time to time we still let our imagination run wild. We imagine cool, beautiful, amazing things, we allow our imagination to turn towards hopes and dreams, but for the most part our imagination is about scary things.

Worry is not a good use of our imagination.

We all worry … sometimes a lot.

Maybe worrying allows our imagination, which is an incredibly powerful and creative part of our mind, to imagine a negative future that may or may not happen.

We allow this brilliant capacity of being human, of being alive, to capture our darkest thoughts. We know intellectually that we shouldn’t ‘worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself’, and somehow we still allow our imagination to take us captive.

And those dark thoughts can be paralysing.

Imagination used for good can be delightful.

What if we could take all that negative imagination and use it for good.

What if we could get into the space where we can use that powerful, creative, brilliant part of our human minds to just imagine good things.

To think positively.

To dream.Relax Balloon

To create.

To hope again.

What if we could learn to imagine a future that is beautiful.

That is amazing.

That is delightful.

How would using our imagination that way change our outlook on life?

How might it change the way we live?

There are people that I care deeply about that seem to struggle more than most with the dark side of imagination and worry. I wish I had a miracle answer for those of you who are in dark places, or who struggle with depression right now. I don’t sorry.

I know from personal experience how hopeless our imagination can make us feel. In my experience, and I haven’t been as low as you are, I have found a few things help me:

  1. My imagination changes when I am walking and running. Something about fresh air and creation and space seem to slowly declutter my mind.
  2. My imagination changes when I feed it well. When I feed myself healthy food, when I listen to healthy music, and when I stop reading about negative stuff on the news or even on social media.
  3. My imagination changes when I create. When I grab my camera and look for a photo. When I write. When I doodle on a piece of paper while drinking a coffee and pretending to work. Even when I create fun.
  4. My Imagination changes when I allow myself to dream. Stupid crazy stuff. Impossible stuff, just like when I was a kid.

If you imagination is still leading you into dark places, this useless advice of a currently healthy person, so know this…

We care. Please ask for help.

Nip ‘But’ in the butt and replace it with…

BUT - HT amt-group.comI was chatting with a guy recently who was asking to be involved in some work I do. As we discussed what we were doing he didn’t seem to agree with my approach as he used the word ‘BUT’ in every other sentence.

I agree, but…

Yes, but…

That’s good, but…

‘But’ gets used just before you contradict or contrast the previous statement. ‘But’ completely disregards their point of view and even experience.

We need to nip ‘BUT’ in the butt, and replace it with ‘AND’

‘And’ builds, it takes the experiences and knowledge of the other person and adds to it.

‘And’, acknowledges what you are saying is cool and let me contribute more.

‘And’, says I respect you.

When you start noticing how often you say ‘but’ on topics you have strong opinions on, it will blow your mind. Changing any habit is hard and resetting language habits is no exception. When you catch ‘but’ being used, correct yourself, use ‘and’ then see where it leads the conversation.

‘And’ means you will contribute more AND you might even learn something along the way.

When you lend, should you expect nothing in return?

Books - Learning to doI have small simple systems for everything including tracking who I have loaned books to.

A couple of days ago I looked at who was on the ‘naughty list’ of people who haven’t returned my books. Some of these people have great books and they have had them for years. As I looked at the list I mused how often I never get books back, but I left the list unchanged.

This morning I read “But love your enemies, do what is good, and lend, expecting nothing in return”. I realised I should expect “nothing in return” and holding a long-term list of books actually meant each time I reviewed the list; I subconsciously put a negative mark against their name.

I culled the list.

So if you have books of mine … consider them a gift.

Expecting nothing in return is not just about books, or that $10 you lent.

Expecting nothing in return is about being generous and gracious and doing good.

And for us, expecting nothing in return means you free yourself from the mental and emotional energy needed to hold on to something so small.

What are you expecting in return from someone?

Isn’t it time you just let it go.